With the start of Brexit, Theresa May and her team will have to hone their influencing and persuading skills, which after all, are the key tenets of any negotiation. In a change process or just in everyday work, leaders often come across situations where they need the support of people or groups around them.
One of the key skills of a Leader is the ability to influence others in order to get what they want. To do this effectively they need to be organised in the way they get you to think about the situation and plan their actions. Influencing is the process of gaining the support and commitment of others in achieving your goals.
Influence is about people not things – it comes to a person from another person and it develops through an awareness of what people think about that person and their ideas. What others think is partly to do with the impression a person makes, their manner and the way they speak.
Also, perceived power can give a type of influence, e.g. there is positional power – which is the power of authority or personal power – which is the power relationship building and interpersonal skills.
There are three stages to influencing:
A) Prepare the ground
This is about building relationships and planning how to handle the situation. There are two sides to preparation, the first is about building relationships and gaining information. Effective relationships take time to develop. We need to invest in others so that they feel we can be trusted. It is also important to keep abreast of any issues which are coming up and could impact on a positive outcome.
The second part of preparing is specific to the situation. Always set yourself clear goals, it is not wise to go into an influencing situation without a clear idea of the outcomes or goals you wish to achieve.
Ask and answer the following two questions every time:
1. What do I want to be doing and feeling afterwards?
2. What do I want others to be doing and feeling afterwards?
You also need to think about how a person is likely to react to any suggestions you may make.
B) Managing the situation
During this phase, it is important to establish rapport to build confidence and trust, this is done by:
- Giving attention to the other person
- Maintaining eye contact
- Greeting people warmly
- Using people’s names
- Being aware of your body language
- Encouraging others to speak and avoid constantly interrupting them
These are the behaviours which help us gain people’s interest; create empathy and common feelings about critical issues. Building trust and understanding between people includes the skills of:
- Envisaging and empathising
C) Channelling skills, looking forward and concluding
When satisfactory agreement can’t be reached, highlight key points, summarise difficulties, suggest a way forward, seek reactions and agree how to proceed. It is important to summarise the agreement, decisions and actions, and check reactions and show appreciation.
9 Key Questions You Should Ask Yourself When You Are Preparing to Influence:
1. What do you want to achieve?
2. What are the range of things the other person could offer?
3. What would you be prepared to accept? (In other words, what is your fall-back position)
4. How will you approach the conversation? What tactics will you use?
5. What are the facts and figures behind the situation?
6. What objections may they come up with?
7. How will you overcome these objections?
8. When is the best time to influence?
9. Where will you influence?
If our Brexit negotiators follow a few of the hints and tips above, it should go a long way in helping to achieve a satisfactory agreement. We wish good luck to Theresa May and her team!